"You are loved"

“You are loved.

You are dear to your heavenly parents.

The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you.

Yes, God loves you this very day and always.

He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.

And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own.

He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always!”

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

The Best Advice

Sister Kuroki read me a part of a letter from a friend who was struggling with her companion and asked me 'what advice should I tell her?' I related some personal experience and advice of how I'd gotten through a similar problem in the past.
Sister Kuroki looked at me funny and said "No... You know what the best advice is?..."
 "What?"
...."Suck it up!"
I don't know who taught her that english...but as it turns out- this is some pretty good advice.

Life is busy. Probably no matter what situation you're in.
Work, school, church callings, friends, family, cooking/eating, sleeping, cleaning, a bunch of little to-do tasks....
 I've got this desire to prioritize my religion and do things like read scriptures and pray daily and go to the temple weekly. The temple was the hard one. The temple schedule didn't really fit with my- do homework until done and then do other things (aka probably not done til 10 at night) schedule. (Plus being in class and work during the day). But the temple closes at like 8. So I was at a debating with myself (my shoulder angel and devil trying to convince me) about if I was just taking too many credits and should drop some to have time for the temple, (or if I should keep it and continue to just not have time to go at all).
Shoulder Devil: hah! even if you did that do you really think you'd make time for going to the temple then if it's not a priority in your life now?
Shoulder Angel: he has a point.

So I decided to take the "suck it up" advice. (just do it. forget yourself and go to work...it's all the same :) ) I worked extra hard the first couple days of the week and got ahead giving myself time to go to the temple mid-week. (This may have also included not doing things that weren't that important.) I did have the time I just needed to have a bit of slightly uncomfortable amount of work on the other days to make sure the important things got done.
I've been doing that for over a month now.

If you want something that God also wants you to do, and you put your mind to it, it can happen. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to (put up with people, a workload, a scary task...)- but that's where that gem of advice comes in. :)

Five things I learned, knew, and became on my mission that I don't want to give up.

To not be ashamed to be GOOD.
Coming from Utah, being a mormon, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been called goody-two-shoes or molly mormon or made fun of for being "innocent". Well I did- for lots of reasons: not drinking, not wanting to listen to inappropriate songs, for my language (aka not swearing and not feeling comfortable with dirty talk). And it used to bother me that I couldn't fit in.
I changed my mind and decided it's actually cooler to be pure and to be good. Why do we need to be rebellious or bad or break the rules to be considered cool? It's harder to keep them, to stay strong....but I'd rather be on that side.

To not live life just so others can see you live it.
Do you know what I mean? With all the social media and pictures I sometimes feel like life becomes a production instead of a life. Are we doing things because we want to? Or are we doing them to post about them? Just food for thought having been separated from the social media world for a year and a half.

To remember that more often than not Satan tempts us through convenience.
I once had a great district leader on my mission. He told us as missionaries Satan knew he couldn't get us to fall by tempting us to break the word of wisdom or anything big like that. But he did know that little rules missionaries have like waking up at 6:30, leaving the house right after study and lunch...there are all these little rules that are inconvenient and easy to break without feeling like it's a big deal. But that was just perfect for Satan. He doesn't need us to break some great law and get sent home from our missions- he just needed to keep us in the house for 30 min. more (because imagine what we could do in those 30 min!), or start our day off slow, etc.
Poison by degrees.  Know what I'm sayin? (Alma 47:9-19)
SO. Connection to the real world. At first Satan does not need us to just leave the church or break some great commandment. Maybe he just wants to catch us on the little inconvenient things.  If he could get us to just not read our scriptures, or to go to sleep without praying, to skip out on church every once and a while when it's not easy to go....そんなかんじ

To remember that the atonement is for everyone.
I mean everyone. The sinners AND the perfectly good people who just struggle. I think it's easier to understand how the Atonement of Christ can help a sinner- anyone who's messed up and wants to turn around- to change and find forgiveness, they can through Him.
 But I don't usually feel like a sinner who needs to change my life around. So is it still for me? YES! I'm here to tell you yes it is. I just want to say that on the nights I felt so discouraged or hopeless, the nights when I was just tired and frustrated, when I was angry that things weren't the way they should be, when I had regrets or felt like I definitely was messing up or not doing/being enough, I could pray to God and ask for that peace that comes through the atonement and it came. It comes when you need it and when you ask for it. It does come, and it is unmistakably from the power of the atonement.
Christ wants us to move forward. Not to focus on negative emotions or the past.

To remember that it's enough.
My dad has this saying he's said to me a couple times in my life when I was stuck. It goes something like "Just do what you can and I'll make up the rest" or "Do your best and I'll make sure it works out."
I like to believe God wants us to know that too.
My mission was great and I saw many miracles and I'm sure lives were changed. I do think it was  successful. But there were many times where I was doing my best but not seeing any results and so my perfectionist side jumped out and said why aren't you doing more? (More than was possible.) Which made me feel I wasn't nor could ever do or be enough. But doing more than is possible is not what was required, trying your best was required and if you're doing that- don't worry. No need to feel down. Try your best, but lighten up.

I had to add the fall-ish feeling pictures. Doesn't it feel like it's becoming fall already?

Mission Blog

sisterbaird.blogspot.com

In two days I begin my adventures as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. For the next year and a half my parents will be posting my letters home on a new blog listed above. It has my addresses written on the side and if you'd like you can follow it by email. 

Anna and I going to Institute mission prep class- HIGHLY recommend it for preparing missionaries. 

Appreciation for things I used to not appreciate

When I was 8 I got 6 journals for birthday presents (plus I already had one)- because apparently the age of 8 is just perfect for journal writing. I'm not one to get a gift and not use it. So you know what my 8-year-old self did? Made each one into a journal for each separate day. Sunday's journal had a butterfly on it, Monday's had smiley faces, Wednesday was a fuzzy Winnie the Pooh one. I remember this because one day I went back to try and see what my 8 year old self deemed worthy to write in a journal and found that I could not- for the life of me- follow the story line through the 7 different journals. Since then I'd like to think I've gotten a bit better- I still have my life story separated in between letters to missionaries, my blog, my old paperback journal, and my journal on my computer. Four's better than seven? I think it's improvement. The point of the matter is that forever ago when mom used to have to remind me to write in my journal daily I definitely did not see the point in it all. The other day I got a bit bored and started reading over my computer journal from last winter semester and a bit of the summer and it was definitely inspiring. Just looking back and seeing that the questions that I had that I most wanted answers to- I got answers to them, the things I was struggling with changed me so much for the better, and the things I worried about didn't end up mattering in the long run. It really is incredible. In one of my entries I went off for like a whole page about how stressed I was with my major- should I really keep Horticulture or would I ever find something that I really loved.  I had always felt like I was a bit inspired when I chose it but on that particular day I seemed to be doubting everything. Let me tell you- this past week when I was in Hawaii and was constantly educating everyone who would listen about nerdy things like that tomatoes are infact classified as a berry, and making them memorize different plants (which also made me think oh! I'm turning into my mom!) I realized that I couldn't see myself doing anything else. Which just goes to show- God knows us pretty well- when he tells us to do something, he knows what he's talking about, even if we don't catch on for a while. Sometimes I feel like he reminds us of these moments when he has made everything turn out alright as if to say "I know what I'm doing- you should trust me by now."
One of my favorite quotes about this is Richard G. Scott in his talk "Finding Happiness"

"Although it may not be a welcome insight, you will grow more rapidly through challenge and trial than from a life of ease and serenity with no disturbing elements. The intent of your Father in Heaven is to lift you from where you are to where he knows you will have eternal purpose and unspeakable happiness. By using the talents, abilities, and latent capacities developed in the premortal existence, he will lead you through growth experiences here on earth. When faced squarely and lived fully without complaint, they will raise you to glorious heights of accomplishment and service. To do all of that during the brief period you are on earth is a tremendous challenge. To accelerate your growth and attainment in his plan for you, sometimes he employs a pattern described on the label of some medicines: "shake well before using."

And Neal A. Mawell in "But for a Small Moment"

"The future "you" is before him now. He knows what it is he wishes to bring to pass in your life. He knows the kind of remodeling in your life and in mine that he wishes to achieve. "

The other thing I never thought I would find myself saying that I appreciated was Geneology/Family History. You know...that thing that 'only old people do'. Well today after being encouraged to get involved with it in church, and after I had talked to my roommate about it- I was introduced to the Family Search. She had been saying that since our ancestors are the ones that help us out in this life, and she's preparing to go on a mission and she could use all the help she can get, she thought it would be a good idea to find them and do their temple work for them. And then she taught me how. And no joke- I was on there for 4 hours straight and only stopped because my eyes were hurting. It is SO COOL! Plus I was able to trace myself all the way back to Adam and Eve!

I also thought it was funny that there's a space to fill in Seth's wive's parent's...because you know...:)

 Anyways. That was my Sunday- reading old journal entries and doing family history. Oh the craziness of my college life...right?

Refocusing: minimize distractions

Occasionally in life frustration will set in for a reason that may not be apparent for quite sometime. For me I had this building frustration for a couple days in a row and I wasn't sure why. This morning I figured it out Thanks to a random conference talk that I found where Uchtdorf told me what's what.

If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

So I began to question what I was doing and what mattered most. We all have goals of what we hope our lives to be like. I guess what happened is the activities I was giving time to were not those that were contributing to the goal of what I want life to be like. Not that any activity in and of itself was bad, just that it was distracting me from doing something better with my time.
In one of my classes we were talking a lot about how certain things in the media are distractions from what is really important. I think that's what was making me so frustrated- spending lots of time doing things that were not important to me. So as part of refocusing myself I am setting weekly goals for myself. This week I am starting with controlling how much media I spend my time on.
I found this program called 'stay focused'- you type in all the sites that you constantly find yourself wasting time on (some blogs, facebook, pinterest) and once it knows those sites it times how long you are on them. You only get 10 minutes a day to spend on time wasting sites. Once your ten minutes are up it says ...

Other inspiration was gotten from an article I was shown once by a friend called 'Focus' by Leo Babauta.

It contains some serious good stuff if you ever want to read it...click here. It's free, it's somewhat long, it's inspirational. 

Some great quotes pulled out...

There are days when I wake up and refuse to turn on the Internet, and sit still with my cup of coffee in the hush that fills the hours just before dawn. I’ll listen to the quiet. I’ll reflect on life. I’ll lose myself in a novel. Some days I’ll sit down and write, just my thoughts and the quiet and the gentle tapping of the keyboard. And it’s beautiful.

It’s not technology we should be afraid of. It’s a life where we’re always connected, always interrupted, always distracted, always bombarded with information and requests. It’s a life where we have no time to create, or connect with real people.

I also realized that so many turn into movie nights and nothing else. Why the need for so many movies? So another of my week goals is to not watch any movies. Not even this weekend. Think of something more creative to do, or if you can't and everyone around your wont, go to something productive instead. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up movies entirely- just taking a break for a week.
 There is no need to be pulled into media constantly. Not that it's a bad thing, there are just better things I could be doing.

So as part of what I hope to be many weeks of goal setting- this week is dedicated to minimizing distractions in the media. We'll see how it goes.

There's something about the trees

My longing for mountains full of the turning leaves of fall was finally fulfilled. I swear I complained so many times about how the Rexburg trees just didn't quite come up to par with Utah's mountains full of them. So when one of my classes went on a field trip to Salt Lake overnight I was EVER so grateful to be picked up by my dad and driven into the mountains where I stayed the night with my FAMILY (!!!) instead of in the hotel with the rest of the students. I'll tell you, it was just what I needed in the midst of this crazy life. There's nothing like your own family mixed with nature to set you at peace with the future and the present.

And then my camera died. But you get the idea.

And then I came back to Rexburg and it was as if all the trees were trying their very hardest to be beautiful and autumn-y. 

The ones that do fall justice...The few and the proud. 

 There just is something so transcendental about going out in the middle of nature and just listening to it. Being alone and out of the way of worldly things. It certainly clears your head. For me it's a way to meditate and re-boost my connection with God. This is peace. This is what gets me through the times when life gets unreasonable- it's like a filter that shows me that things happen for a reason and that I am not alone.

"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature- trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...We need silence to be able to touch souls."

-Mother Teresa

It's OK to be human.

So I've had all these thoughts rollin' around in my head and they all sort of came together tonight. So yes, I'm going to start writing a blog post at 1 in the morning. Is that a good idea? Maybe. We'll see.

Just this morning I was talking to my sister on the phone about blogs and whatnot, and she said something that struck me as odd. She said something along the lines of "you just do cool things all the time". Odd for me because later that day- so tonight- it was the end of a long day and I was actually having a bit of a melt down of un-satisfaction with my life. But yet, apparently, from the outside it looks all fun and fine. (Which is what the internet does really. We only show the good things in life so everybody gets to thinking that everybody else's lives are all fun.But at the same time it's okay because nobody would want to read blogs and other social things if they were negative all the time) Anyways I don't really like talking about when I have meltdowns in open space where anyone could read it. But then I remembered this one thing a blogger said. I respect him a lot. He gives good advice. This is his blog post I was thinking about by the way. He said " One of the things we admire about people is the ability to be vulnerable—to not have it all together all the time—to admit mistakes—to be human. If I could raise my kids over, one thing I would do differently is to find many ways to share with them about my mistakes. I’d want them to get that it’s OK to be human."

So this is my human post and my solution to a late night melt down. Be prepared, it might get long. I have a lot to say. 

My meltdown. And I'm sure we all have these days where the only question rolling around in our brain is if we even matter. Like have we ever made a difference in anything? and the other questions that like to come with it such as what the heck is going on in my life right now? And the fact that we have nothing figured out. And questions of why this is happening. And doubts. Doubts about almost everything. That happened today. It was one of those days. But the good news is (can this be counted as good new?) I'm pretty sure every single person has those days. And I'm pretty sure if you asked any person ever if they have everything figured out...the answer would be no. Because no one has things figured out really.

The other good news is this. God's out there. And if you ask him for things like answers. I mean if you actually take the time to pray for stuff and then keep your eyes open for a response- and then write it down when you get one- you'll see. I started doing this little journal- once a day I write down how I've had some prayer answered or seen God's hand in my life. And today- well lets just say the answer was a little weird. 
This really is embarrassing so for my own dignity just don't pity me or anything. Midnight comes and I'm in my kitchen just flat out crying. And also praying to know if I even make a difference. That is exactly what I wanted to know. And I'm making smores because they are my comfort food. And this is almost just ridiculous- but this was the message on my stupid chocolate bar. This kind of stuff doesn't just happen. Right? It's cheesy, but really, so perfectly timed there is no other explanation.

And after that all I had a good talk with my roommate and she told me a couple things I needed to hear such as  that the hardest things in life aren't the big trials, but striving each day to be a little better through the monotony of it all. And that it's easy to get discouraged and it's completely understandable- and normal.

And then one more thought for you that just connects in. This girl said this at my church the other day and I think I really ought to consider it a lot. She said that there are happy people and then there are people who have happy things happen to them. The latter expect happiness all the time and of course only gets it every once and a while- and they believe that happiness only happens occasionally and the rest of life is just plain miserable. And then the happy people realize that happiness actually comes and goes. It comes in moments and memories, but most of the time it goes, and life's just normal. Most of the time life's not super fun. But they carry through the rest of it with a happy attitude and realize that in general life is happy- even if the happy moments aren't happening all the time. 

So sometimes I get good thoughts at night. Sometimes nothing that I say makes sense. Hopefully this post has been more toward the good thoughts side of the spectrum. So good night. And thanks, if you actually read through that WHOLE thing. Wow right? 
Two songs for you if you want? Real quick.
Blue Skies and One More Time with Feeling

Sunday thoughts

A little while ago my dad posed a question to me of why I go to church. My personal answer to this is that actually a lot of the time I have a hard time sitting through 3 hours of church each week. But every once and a while something is said that REALLY was said for me! Something that I needed to hear to improve myself or to be at peace or understand fully why certain things are happening. Well folks- today was one of those days. This girl who just moved into my ward from New York -where she was singing in the metropolitan opera- was part of a program of singing and talks between her and her sister. Let me tell you. It was amazing. Especially the music- so loud and powerful I can't even explain it. But the talk this girl gave- holy cow! Let me just tell you about it in my own words. And maybe you won't understand it exactly like I did, but I just need to record my thoughts.The reason Christ atoned for us is because he wanted to know exactly how we feel, everything we go through so that he will better be able to comfort us. But not only did he die for us, he also lived for us in order to show us the opportunities we have to make amends with ourselves and our mistakes. He is the perfect example of a life that will lead to happiness. She also said that for any question in life if the why is strong enough the how and what don't matter. So why did Christ do this for us? FOR US! Because he loves us so much! He was so perfect that he really could have gone up to heaven at any point- he was PERFECT people! But he didn't. He stayed at went through all that because for him, heaven wouldn't be heaven if we weren't there! Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever heard? 

She also talked about truth. How do we know what truth is? Truth is anything that brings us peace, love, and joy. If it's not giving you these three things, you can just get rid of it! 

The church is true. It gives us peace love and joy. So what else matters? 

My Child by David Bowman

Thank you Ginger Jackson for your testimony today in church. I was truly inspired. Just the way she spoke- she was so excited to share what she had to say. She was smiling and excited. Seriously excited to share the gospel. And the way she talked about heaven "Stars and mansions and fireworks and color!" It makes me excited and so grateful for what I have in this life. :)

So here's to being excited about the truth! Because it really is SO great!

Happy Sunday. :)

Something everyone needs to hear!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

By far my most favorite quote ever! Because it seriously is SO true! There is a lot to learn for each of us about our own self-worth. It's something that is sadly very hard to gain. But it's something that every single one of us possess and has yet to discover. It really hurts my heart when I see people talk themselves down, or who have come to believe that they just aren't worth it. Or who are afraid to admit or believe that they are in fact pretty cool. But seriously. Who are you NOT to be?

And one more quote that is truly inspiring and completely true. Happy Friday.

“I do know now I was never forgotten. And I know something else and as an apostle of our master Jesus Christ, I proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart and soul, neither are you. You are not forgotten! Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love. Just think of it! You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful and glorious Being in the universe. You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time. He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name. You are the daughters of His kingdom!” 
― Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Why I WANT to be a Mormon

As I get older and associate with a bigger variety of people I get a lot more questions about why I am the way I am. Mostly about things that I do because of my religion. I've gotten a lot of questions from my coworkers especially, who've started to notice that I do things a little differently and don't understand why I would chose a lifestyle like this. So I've had to do some thinking to figure out the answers for myself. Some of the things I do are things I wouldn't chose to do on my own if they didn't come with the religion, some of the things just make sense to me. For example. Why don't I drink or get tattoos? Sure it's 'against my religion' but it also makes sense to me. Alcohol and drugs have never been appealing to me- they smell bad for one, and I personally would never want to lose control of myself or my actions. And tattoos- I'm just not one for pain. Those are personal reasons for me. Why do I not swear? This one is on more of a level of obedience. Everything else that my prophets and church leaders have told me so far has worked out to make me happy, so I think it's a pretty good idea to listen to what they say even when I don't know EXACTLY why. And then there's the third level of why I follow the church. I told my friend about how I go out to breakfast with some ladies from my church and he found it funny that although I'm 18 I still choose to go to church at all. He just didn't understand why I would WANT to do that. This is a level I call peace. There are things like church, scriptures, listening to good music, prayer, and the temple. All I know is that when I don't have these things in my life, I'm not as happy. They give me peace. That's all there is to it. 

So my reasons for why I am a "Mormon" or a Latter Day Saint of Jesus Christ are based on 4 things. I know there is a God- I mean...who could EVER doubt that!!! Just look around you! Just look at all the blessings you have and how many times he has helped you out! The standards in the gospel make perfect sense to me for a good lifestyle- a healthy one that will make you happy. The leaders of my church are some pretty smart guys- they know what they're talking about, and if you listen, you will be happy. And everything about it brings peace and clarity into life. I know that sometimes it may not make sense- and all that stuff that I don't do because I'm Mormon (drinking, sex before marriage, drugs, tattoos...etc.), I know it looks fun to a lot of people. But I also know that in the long run, I'm going to be pretty dang happy I stuck to the standards I've been taught. Seriously- being this happy is some good stuff. 

Want to know more? Learn for yourself- it's a pretty open religion. Here are some website that tell a little about us, and show what we believe in!

http://mormon.org/

http://www.lds.org/?lang=eng