Six-word memoirs

All started by Ernest Hemmingway's "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
People were inspired by writing six word memoirs about themselves and submitting them and then creating a book that I would read. A lot were sad, a lot were about homosexuals and sex-changers and wish-I-wouldavers...you know. But here are some funny ones I picked out. And a few of them are serious.

My self image is Indiana Jones.   Peed on White House floor. Really.   Stripper then, sexual abuse therapist now.    The best antidote? Spontaneous international adventures.  Made weird children- will die proud.    I should have killed her plant.    Can't reach top shelves, married tall.    Stricter parents could have saved me.    Thesis in cosmology; diploma typo: cosmetology.     Mug shot was a flattering likeness.   We would have named him Xavier.    As a toddler I ate tadpoles.    Desperate enough to read my spam.  That dumb dog sure paid off. (this was said, by the way, by the author of Marley and Me)    Yes, I still have Superman sheets.    Philosophy student still waiting for enlightenment.    Art therapist, more fun than doctor.     They don't know I know Spanish.


                                                    What would yours be?

Just for laughs

These are the two youtube videos I've been laughing at nonstop/ quoting ALL WEEK! Pictures from the family vacation in Couer d'Alene coming soon....but for now- have a happy weekend and have a good laugh why don't ya?

Dora the Explorer movie trailer.

Spoof on Beauty and the Beast song- make it past the first 30 seconds and it's pretty dang funny.

A funny little story

Because life's supposed to be funny. Right?
So lately I've been hearing all these creepy stories from my coworkers. One of them was about some creeper stalker peeping tom in college who would do freaky things like scratch on her window and other stuff. I don't want to talk about it really- just a little background so you know the reason why I'm so paranoid in a minute. Anyways. My parents are out of town- so I sleep in their bed. That's normal right? I didn't want to sleep in the basement by myself and I just wanted to be on the same level as my little sisters since my parents were gone. And it's a dang good thing I did! I went down to my room to get dressed in the morning and I hear this awful scratching on my window. My first thought, of course, is that there is a mass murderer in my window well! And then I realize that it's morning time and so that is obviously not the case. So I open the drapes and lo and behold I find a gofer. In my window well. I obviously can't deal with it. I mean- first off I'd freak out and second- I would never be able to kill it- which is what you're supposed to do with pests right? (The girl at my work said I should have dropped it off at the humane society :) ) So I run off to work and make my little sister take care of it. So this is her solution...Open the window (a major NO in my life- do you know how many spiders dwell in that window well?!) set up a cardboard box, and scare it into the box with a broom handle. And then...she just threw the box away. Some people call pest control, but in the Baird household, we throw our pests away. ...? But think about it! What was she going to do if that little creature were to have ran into my room instead of the box!?? Anyways. The point  of the matter is- it's a good thing I slept in my parents bed or I would have been mega freaked out by the scratching of the windows at night. The end.

Oh mom...

My mom just checked herself in at 35 different places on facebook in order to update her map. :) I saw the first one and thought...Canada? I'm pretty sure they just went to Idaho for a few days... And then I saw that she was also in Florida, DC, Manchester, Long Beach, the JFK airport....etc. ...yep 35 places all at once. She's still learning how to use facebook. These are the moments that make me laugh. My favorite was when she was trying to prove how hip she is and she states very proudly "Yeah! And I even know who dubstep is!" :) I love it.