Saturday, August 30, 2014

Five things I learned, knew, and became on my mission that I don't want to give up.


To not be ashamed to be GOOD.
Coming from Utah, being a mormon, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been called goody-two-shoes or molly mormon or made fun of for being "innocent". Well I did- for lots of reasons: not drinking, not wanting to listen to inappropriate songs, for my language (aka not swearing and not feeling comfortable with dirty talk). And it used to bother me that I couldn't fit in.
I changed my mind and decided it's actually cooler to be pure and to be good. Why do we need to be rebellious or bad or break the rules to be considered cool? It's harder to keep them, to stay strong....but I'd rather be on that side.

To not live life just so others can see you live it.
Do you know what I mean? With all the social media and pictures I sometimes feel like life becomes a production instead of a life. Are we doing things because we want to? Or are we doing them to post about them? Just food for thought having been separated from the social media world for a year and a half.

To remember that more often than not Satan tempts us through convenience.
I once had a great district leader on my mission. He told us as missionaries Satan knew he couldn't get us to fall by tempting us to break the word of wisdom or anything big like that. But he did know that little rules missionaries have like waking up at 6:30, leaving the house right after study and lunch...there are all these little rules that are inconvenient and easy to break without feeling like it's a big deal. But that was just perfect for Satan. He doesn't need us to break some great law and get sent home from our missions- he just needed to keep us in the house for 30 min. more (because imagine what we could do in those 30 min!), or start our day off slow, etc.
Poison by degrees.  Know what I'm sayin? (Alma 47:9-19)
SO. Connection to the real world. At first Satan does not need us to just leave the church or break some great commandment. Maybe he just wants to catch us on the little inconvenient things.  If he could get us to just not read our scriptures, or to go to sleep without praying, to skip out on church every once and a while when it's not easy to go....そんなかんじ

To remember that the atonement is for everyone.
I mean everyone. The sinners AND the perfectly good people who just struggle. I think it's easier to understand how the Atonement of Christ can help a sinner- anyone who's messed up and wants to turn around- to change and find forgiveness, they can through Him.
 But I don't usually feel like a sinner who needs to change my life around. So is it still for me? YES! I'm here to tell you yes it is. I just want to say that on the nights I felt so discouraged or hopeless, the nights when I was just tired and frustrated, when I was angry that things weren't the way they should be, when I had regrets or felt like I definitely was messing up or not doing/being enough, I could pray to God and ask for that peace that comes through the atonement and it came. It comes when you need it and when you ask for it. It does come, and it is unmistakably from the power of the atonement.
Christ wants us to move forward. Not to focus on negative emotions or the past.

To remember that it's enough.
My dad has this saying he's said to me a couple times in my life when I was stuck. It goes something like "Just do what you can and I'll make up the rest" or "Do your best and I'll make sure it works out."
I like to believe God wants us to know that too.
My mission was great and I saw many miracles and I'm sure lives were changed. I do think it was  successful. But there were many times where I was doing my best but not seeing any results and so my perfectionist side jumped out and said why aren't you doing more? (More than was possible.) Which made me feel I wasn't nor could ever do or be enough. But doing more than is possible is not what was required, trying your best was required and if you're doing that- don't worry. No need to feel down. Try your best, but lighten up.


I had to add the fall-ish feeling pictures. Doesn't it feel like it's becoming fall already?


1 comment:

  1. Loved your blog post, Bronte. I'm so happy you are back home. We miss being away from you guys already. I'm glad you started up your blog again too! I love reading it.

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